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11-Aug-2020 10:02

Though racial microaggressions are felt by every marginalized group within the dating realm, I am building upon my own personal experiences with heterosexual, cisgender white men to offer suggestions on how to ease racial tensions that may arise in a white man/black woman pairing.

Once, I was at a bar with friends when two white men approached me.

While white men are not the only group to hold racial biases and stereotypes against black women, they tend to be the least informed on the racialized and gendered issues that black women endure.

These are harmful stereotypes that will not only make your black partner uncomfortable, they will further marginalize them.

You should want to date a person because you like who they are and have compatible views and interests, not because their race is the next thing to do on your bucket list or because you were enthralled by their “exotic ways” (honestly, are you doing an anthropological study on black culture? If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!

Microaggressions are comments or actions that unintentionally alienate or demean a marginalized person or group.

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These include, but are not limited to, saying things such as “You’re [insert positive adjective] for a black girl! ”These may seem harmless to some, but they’re actually symptoms of deeper problems rooted in systematic oppressions that black women face daily.

Instead, remember that black women, like all people, have varying interests, backgrounds, and obstacles that they face daily.